PND – We All Need To Talk About Our Experiences

I think I knew the brutal reality of having kids; that it’s joyous one moment and horrendous the next; and that’s been my experience.

I love this quote, it’s on page 9 of our new book and every time I read it I want to cry and laugh.

Our publisher asked Benison O’Reilly, Cathie Knox and myself to write a book about PND.  Now why did she go and do a silly thing like that?

She asked, of course, because she had suffered both anxiety and deep, deep depression after the birth of her second son. She knew I had too.

Jane wanted the stories to be told; she knew it was important for mums and dads to tell them and for mums and dads to read them.

When something traumatic happens, for many of us it is therapeutic to talk or write about it.  When we’re ready.

Perhaps you know this yourself.  Perhaps you have written about your experience of anxiety or depression before or after childbirth.

My job was to interview dozens of mums and dads, to ask them to answer questions, and to tell their stories.  So many people came forward, so many words, so many stories.  I was blown away at how generous people were, how happy they were to share their experiences and their reflections.

Our book, Beyond The Baby Blues, is just printed, now in the warehouse.  I’ve just sent a list of names and addresses to the publisher and copies will be sent out soon to the kind, brave people who shared their stories in the book and will do so on this website.

Experiences, reflections, ideas, hopes for change; here are some of the things people told me:

It’s not until everyone walks away and your husband is back at work and daily life asserts itself that things can fall apart. That’s when mothers should be watched carefully but unfortunately that’s when the whole system has finished.

Remember! The general ‘mothers group’ can be a bad thing for mothers with PND, the exposure to all those ‘perfect’ babies it can make you feel worse!

Women and families need to take childbearing seriously.  Society needs to provide very practical and respectful support; washing, cleaning, meals, ompany.  We need maternity care that spans the whole spectrum of pregnancy and the postnatal period.

I am honest about my experience. If they think I’m looking as though I am on top of things I tell them about when I wasn’t.

I aim to be honest to, and to share my experience of depression before and after childbirth.

I hope you will join me on this journey and join the many people who decided to Just Speak Up, to Start Talking.

I’m linking this post to lovely Maxabella’s Weekend Grateful. Oh yes, I am so grateful not to feel so black any more, grateful my depression after the birth of my second son was well treated, that I recovered.

I would never, ever say that I am grateful for the experience of PND, but I do know that it has changed me for the better in many ways and I am grateful for that.